Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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