But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
