if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
