thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
