She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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