I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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