Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
