a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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