i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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