Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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