I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
