I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
