u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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