Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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