I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i came on her dog
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize