Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
being pregnant is like rehab
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
