I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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