ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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