I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
