Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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