Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize