She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
