i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Say something about gay babies.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
