I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Let's paint friendship bongs
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
