when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
