I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
