i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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