Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Success! We fucked roommates!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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