Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
