Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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