actually, I'm a sock model
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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