Got a toothbrush?
Will you blow on my dice?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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