i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
