how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize