forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
