We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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