So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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