the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I am naked and annoyed.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
