D3 body, D1 cock
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
