I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
