I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
