so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
