so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
