Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
