Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
