So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
its not stalking. its research.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
