At least make sure they are 18
Why
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
