We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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