I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Dicks are not precious.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
