I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
