She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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