Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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