A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
