I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
