If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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