I never want to see another naked old woman again.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
