We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
