i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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