we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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