i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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