I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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