Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
