just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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