Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
