Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
