he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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