TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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