new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
