I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
