It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
