what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize