Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
