Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
