I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
