You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
