I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
